Oh the tired.

First off let me say two things:
1. I think I will whine and complain in this post.  But hey, it’s my blog and I can cry if I want to.  :)
2. I want to make it very clear that I still like the third trimester a million times more than the first trimester.  Lest all the whining I’m going to do makes you think otherwise.

Every day I think I hurt more and feel more tired.  Still, I make it through and make it one day longer pregnant with these boys who need to keep gestating!  Most mornings I wake feeling rested-ish, but my everything hurts.  All those trips to the bathroom, during Braxton Hicks contractions, are brutal.  I get up and it seems like there’s nothing harder than making breakfast.  Then it seems like there’s nothing harder than teaching math to Joanna (she’s not loving it).  Then it seems like really for sure nothing could be harder than pulling the clothes out of the washing machine and hanging them up.  Then I know that nothing could be more difficult than heaving myself off the deep couch (where I’ve just gotten the teensiest bit comfortable) to take care of James’ needs in the bathroom.  And don’t get me started on fixing lunch.  For real nothing is harder than that.  Oh the tired.  Oh the hurt.

But also the joy.

I get to spend my days at home with three amazing people who love me and are wildly entertaining.  :)  They are their own little community, and they can entertain themselves forever with made up games and vivid imaginations and hilarious conversations.

And when I lay down and am still, TWO little nudgers let me know they’re here too.  Sometimes it’s a little flutter in my abdomen, other times it looks like a scene from the X-Files, where something is trying to break out of the belly!  And I am AMAZED at what’s happening inside me.  Astonished that God put two babies in there for me to carry.  Thankful and grateful for every pain, every deep breath that’s hard to take, all the heartburn.  And so thankful for every. single. day that I can carry them, safe and sound inside me.

And every day Matt picks up way more slack than he should have to.  I haven’t fully loaded or unloaded the dishwasher in weeks (months maybe?).  I don’t vacuum anymore, and I really have no idea what’s involved the kids’ bedtime routine these days.  :)  He does it all.  I still plan meals and make sure the ingredients are here.  Sometimes I sit at the bar and tell him how to make something that I don’t use measurements for.  But really he does it.  Come dinner time, I’m simply not physically capable.  It’s hard and humbling, but also the absolute truth.  He’s gotten so much better in the kitchen than he was months or a year ago though – it’s wonderful!

I’m so eager for the cool weather.  It’s hard to remember, but I know it will be fall and then winter eventually.  You’ll never find me complaining of the cold ever again.  Well, I don’t complain about the cold anyway.  I love it.  I survive late spring, summer, and early fall.  I relish the rest.  Now that it’s September, I really feel like it will cool off eventually.  I will be able to send the grouchy people outside.  I will be able to read books on the porch and feel the breeze.  I will hand out sandwiches and let the birds clean up the crumbs.

I may not sleep for a year or so, but I will drink tea and it will feel good.

I have a couple of pictures to reward you for all the reading.  :)

When I was attempting to get a silhouette of myself, I used Joanna as my model to fix my camera settings.  She could have stood still and boring, but she posed!

Lisa mentioned the other day she might have a bumblebee costume that would fit James.  And recently he’s started making this noise with his nose so we’ll call him a bee.  I call him my baby bee.  He loves it.  :)  And Lisa found the costume and brought it over today!

I debated not posting a picture, since hopefully he’ll get to dress up all officially in it in October.  But WHO KNOWS what crazy will be happening in our lives then?!

Isn’t Baby Bee the CUTEST THING EVER?!!!

Matt is almost home.  I’m going to gather ingredients for dinner.  I’m going to go to the bathroom, twice probably.  And I’m going to lay down. 

Oh the tired.